


Oneshot Request: Detention

by Espisayer



Series: Tumblr Requests and Prompts [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 01:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17235119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Espisayer/pseuds/Espisayer
Summary: A short oneshot request from tumblr. Russia and Prussia, friends on the rocks, are stuck in detention together after having a fight and all their dirty laundry gets aired out.Alternate human names for Russia and Prussia are used. Alternate name for France is also used (Marceau). Strong language.





	Oneshot Request: Detention

**Author's Note:**

> I tend to write Russia and Prussia differently than you typically see in the fandom. If you want more information, I made a detailed post about it on tumblr here: https://espisayer-hetalia.tumblr.com/post/181402345153/my-characterizations-russia-prussia

Gilbert and Aleksandr, childhood friends and known at school as the resident outcasts (and shit-heads) had been on the outs for a little while. It had started when Gilbert was making some new friends in their third year of high school.

But Aleksandr was not jealous. Not at all.

He just didn’t like them. The French one was a flirty know-it-all who needed to be punched in the throat, and the Spanish one was… Well, actually, he wasn’t such a bad guy, he was just dumb. And Gilbert was already thick-headed. He didn’t need dumb friends, especially not ones that encouraged him to go out partying with other dumb students, get drunk, and do other stupid things… and people.

The first few times, Aleksandr didn’t believe it; some rumor that he’d gone and randomly slept with some guy at a party. Gilbert was out of control, but he wasn’t that type. Then… he kept hearing more rumors. One every couple of months, and then every other week.

He  _wasn’t_  raging with jealousy. He was pissed, though. He stopped talking to Gilbert altogether so he didn’t have to keep being bothered by it.

…That lasted all of one day.

Gilbert “met up” with him just before lunch, slamming his locker shut before he could put his books away. Aleksandr made eye contact with him, but it was chilly, and Gilbert paused for a moment. “Yeah, so… you’re  _definitely_  the one who did this to me, right?”

Gilbert then demonstrated his phone, which had a cracked screen and was dripping water. Toilet water. Aleksandr would know because he did, in fact, break it and throw it in the toilet. Still, he said, “No, of course not,” in his usual, even tone.

Grimacing slightly, Gilbert asked, “Really? Because Marceau told me he saw you take it.”

“Hmm,” Aleksandr hummed, smiling, but it was ice-cold, “that’s funny, because Marceau told me he saw you getting a blow job at that party last night.”

“He fucking―” Gilbert rasped, looking pale and horrified, “he fucking told you  _what_?!”

Aleksandr said nothing and started walking away―Gilbert tried to stop him, grabbing his scarf, but he lurched away and snapped, “Don’t touch me…!”

Well, this was fucked. He wasn’t going to listen right now. But Gilbert could give him time to cool down―he had a certain stupid friend who was about to die a gruesome death.

-

Gilbert wasn’t a stranger to detention. Even if it did take place in the dankest, dustiest room in school that reeked of decaying brain cells and oppression, he didn’t regret it. Even if he would be spending two hours here for punching Marceau in the balls, he didn’t regret it.

Now, he was surprised to see Aleksandr there for the phone incident, considering he hadn’t reported it… but… it worked out.

Gilbert waited until their supervisor stepped out of the room, before he reached forward to pull on his scarf. “Hey. I want to talk to you.”

He wasn’t budging, at all. Aleksandr went so far to give him the silent treatment that Gilbert ended up pulling his entire scarf off―still didn’t move an inch, let alone look at him.

That was a bad sign―he never took that fucking scarf off at school. Gilbert sighed and spared a glance at the door… before getting up and leaning over the student sitting next to Aleksandr and ordering, “Move.”

The guy actually looked up at him with a shitty attitude, “Say what?”

“I got sent here for punching a guy in the nutsack, buddy, so move it!”

After a brief staredown, the seat was relinquished. Gilbert flopped down and sat on it sideways. He gave it a few seconds before he leaned forward and told Aleksandr, “Listen. Marceau is a son of a cocksucking mother fucking Miststück Fotze Schwanz. You know that! Why would you listen to him?!”

Aleksandr continued to be obstinate and stared ahead. Though his silence was finally broken. “Why would he tell me that about you?” he muttered, quiet and sulking.

“Because he’s a son of a cock―” Gilbert sighed heavily and dropped his head. “Because he’s sticking his nose in my business, trying to prove a point or… something.”

After a moment, Aleksandr finally turned to look at him, furrowing his brows slightly. “I don’t understand. What point is he trying to make by telling me you’re a slut?”

Gilbert chewed on his gums for a moment (that still stuck in his craw, especially hearing Aleksandr say it), before leaning in a bit more and lowering his voice. “Aleksandr.”

He gave Gilbert a weird look. “What…?” he hissed under his breath

Pulling on his sleeve a little, Gilbert pretended to start whispering―except it was very loud and everyone else heard it clearly. “ _You’re_   _jealous_   _as_   _hell_.”

Instantly, Aleksandr turned bright red and jerked away from him. “I’m not!”

The voice cracking was confirmation enough. Gilbert laughed and reached up to ruffle his hair. “You’re  _so_  fucking jealous. Why else would you get all pissy about your friend getting laid?”

Aleksandr became rigid and defensive, smacking Gilbert’s hand away and remarking, “Maybe I don’t want to be friends with a slut!”

“I told you, I’m not a slut! Stop saying that!”

“What was I supposed to think?”

“Not―listen, it doesn’t matter anymore, because you know what?”

Aleksandr gave him a dubious look and didn’t respond; that was when Gilbert leaned in, again, and pulled him along too. “If I wanted to put out, I’d let you know, first and personally, alright?”

This time he had a delayed response time and stammered; he also felt a sudden urge to hide his face and remembered he didn’t have his scarf. He tried to take it back from Gilbert. “St―Give it back!”

It wasn’t happening. He held the brunt of it and goaded, “Gimme a kiss and I’ll give it back!”

Their tug of war was interrupted by the loud slam of a stack of papers on the teacher’s desk. The other students were snickering and laughing while their supervisor didn’t look amused. There was a beat of silence. “I’m afraid your love story will have to be put on hold… until after you get out of detention in two hours.”

“Fuck…” Aleksandr muttered.

Gilbert couldn’t drop his smartass in time, though. “Don’t you have a heart?”

“Three hours.”

“Fuck.”


End file.
